Love and Communication

Love and Communication

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
1 Corinthians 13:13

If marriage was designed by God, then why is it so hard? Are you like me and have thought this so many times? Marriage is not for the faint-hearted, the naïve, and quitters. It is only for the resolved, determined, and the tenacious. I don’t know of any other thing in life that has as much influence on our fulfillment and joy. Frankly, I don’t know how marriages without God as the center survive. They must be less than fulfilling. It causes many dear sisters much pain and anguish. Yet, a godly marriage gives us glimpses of God.

God’s Word tells us in 1 Corinthians 13:13 that out of faith, hope, and love, that the greatest thing that we could experience is love. Love involves connecting with another human being. Connecting requires communication. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t think they need to improve their communication skills. I was astonished in my college communication class when I learned that communication was made of three parts: words (8%), tone of voice (38%), and body language (55%). Additionally, communication is listening, as well as sharing. Only love could motivate us to want to communicate with someone so different from us. Only love would make us to want to overcome these barriers. Only love would make us want to be more patient. We can’t demonstrate love without having been filled with Christ’s love. Someone who has been filled with Christ's love cannot stop herself from giving it to others.

No other human has the power to hurt us like our mates. Likewise, we wield the same power to hurt them. Remember James tells us the power of our tongues. They are like the bits in horses’ mouths that can turn the whole animal, like a rudder to a large ship, or a small spark that sets off a forest fire. They can set our lives on fire (James 3:1-7). Proverbs 18:21 says that “death and life are in the power of the tongue” (NASB). It may take duck tape on our mouths sometimes, but we need to catch ourselves when we nag, belittle, condemn, get angry, or criticize. We can pray for God to prick us when destructive words start to roll off our tongues. Our tongues are the most influential and most powerful tool that we have. They can unleash great potential, creativity, and joy, or they can destroy and change the whole course of life.
I’m not telling you anything that God hasn’t already pressed into me. Maybe you know all of this but needed a reminder to be more encouraging, supporting, and uplifting. Our mates need cheering. I know you may be thinking like the parents at my daughter’s recent soccer team when the kids asked the parents to cheer for them. One parent said what we were all thinking aloud, “You need to give us something to cheer about!” It may take some time and creativity, but an ounce of encouragement goes a long way to motivate the human soul.

Some of us may be thinking, “Is it too late for my marriage?” or “This all sounds wonderful and I know it is right, but my marriage is too far gone.” Many times, we don’t know how it became “too far gone.” The love that we had our wedding day just slipped away. We may not know, but God knows, and He can reveal to us where things went wrong. However, we must be open to Him telling us our part in it! Some of us may have been the unwise woman who has torn down her own house. Some of us may be angry with him for the mistakes he has made – career, financial, parenting, or spiritually. Some of us may be so frustrated with him that we have stopped talking to him and just give him some fierce looks. Or maybe he has hurt us so badly we just give him a rejected or guarded look.

So how do we get past this? How do we have a marriage that gives us all that God designed for it to be? We turn to the God of hope. We turn to the God who resurrects marriages from the dead. We turn to Him in deepest prayer. Nobody is going to pray for our own marriage like we will. Will you join me?

Pray with me: Almighty God, thank You, Lord. You are amazing. You are still the truest love of our hearts. Thank You for those of us whom You have brought into marriage. Marriage is under such an onslaught, full scale attack by the enemy. We desire that You raise up godly marriages in the church as Your bride prepares for the return of her Groom.

We realize, Lord, that we need Your help in communication. Teach us to bridle our tongues. Do not let any unwholesome word come out of our mouths except words for edification (Ephesians 4:29). We bring You all the hurts of our marriages and relationships. We consecrate our thought life to You. We know that if we think bad thoughts, that we will speak bad words. Teach us to bring our thoughts captive. Help us to walk moment by moment in the Spirit. It is in the Name above all names, Jesus’ Name, Yeshua’s Name, that we pray, Amen.

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